Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I closed his door

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die. . .

I lost a friend this weekend. He was a residant at my work, and since I'm not sure how much I can talk about, I will have to keep this vague. I know in my mind that he and all the choises he made were a gift from God, but doesn't stop the tears as I look at his med cabinet, or expect to see him come down the stairs for some food, and I realise that he won't come down those stairs again. I was hit pretty hard by this, because I called work in the middle of the night on Saturday and was blind sided by the fact that he had passed away. I had been meaning to visit him at the hospital, but I never got around to it. But now I think that this was a good thing, because now my last memory of him, is of laughter. A couple of nights before he went into the hospital, he had come down for some food. As I was walking him back to bed, he made a smart-assed comment on how I would make an exellent prison guard, so of course I retaliated, and he returned fire, and this went on for about five minutes. Then he got into bed, I told him to have a good night and I closed his door.

Lord Jesus, Please speak to my heart. It hurts.

Friday, May 27, 2005

When God throws a brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick hit the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and spun the Jag back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed a kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on, "That's a new car and fixing the damage from that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?!"

"Please, mister, please. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car.

"It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly-swelling lump in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair, took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, until he was satisfied that everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child said to him.

The man watched the little boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long walk back to his Jaguar... a long, slow walk. He never did repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. Sometimes, when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw a 'brick' at you. It's your choice: Listen to the whisper, or wait for the brick.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Not much happened today, so here's a joke.


A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than... Punch a fifth grader.

Strike while the... Bug is close.

It's always darkest before... Daylight Savings Time.

Never underestimate the power of... Termites.

You can lead a horse to water but... how?

Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.

Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.

A penny saved is... not much.

Two's company, three's... the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what... you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as... Helen Keller.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Some cool pics

Anyone who has known me for more than ten seconds knows that I have shall we say a marginal interest in swords. So here are some pics of the forging process of a Japanese Katana.

Monday, May 23, 2005

A fun weekend

I had quite an enjoyable time this weekend. Well there was the fact that I had to work friday night, but that was quickly overshadowed by the pancake & waffle breakfast. Then there was the drive to Steinback, in which Nathan read from the little prince. But since I had just gotten off of a 10 hour shift I was slipping in and out of consciousness(?). Anyway, when we got to S-back, we just had to hit the 2nd hand store, where much was discovered including an amazing leather trench coat that Nathan found for $8. After that we hit the pawn shop where the group got cd's, except for me, since I was busy in the knife section. And for any one that knows me, this was pretty much a no-brainer. I ended up walking away with an 18'' Bowie knife, that looks like something out of Rambo movies. This isn't usually my style since I prefere a knife that looks less deadly, but since it was priced at 1/4 it's value, I just couldn't resist. After that we went to Steph's mom's house and saw two very adorable babies, and some baby pictures of Steph, and a few of Shawn. We then went to Steph's dad's place for a BBQ, after a quick stop at 7-11, for some much needed slurpies(I was well past being awake 24hrs by this point). After the BBQ, Nathan built a kickass bonfire, out of wet wood, and lot's of lighter fluid, and we roasted marshmellows, and played tackle monkey-in-the-middle with a football. This was then followed by Cam narrating a musical story of our day. I don't remember two much after that since I was approaching 30hrs of consciousness. But all in all it was a great day.


I chose these funnies in honour of Joel, who is moving to K.C., at the end of June. Although Missouri is not really the South most of these should still be helpful. Enjoy.

Degrees Fahrenheit

65 - Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night

60 - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 - Miami residents turn on the heat

45 - Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 - You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
 Minnesotans go swimming

35 - Italian cars don't start

32 - Water freezes

30 - You plan your vacation to Australia

25 - Ohio water freezes
 Californians weep pitiably.
 Minnesotans eat ice cream.
 Canadians go swimming.

20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation further South.

15 - French cars don't start.
 Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 - You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 - American cars don't start

0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10 - German cars don't start
 Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
 Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
 Miami residents cease to exist

-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
 Politicians actually do something about the homeless
 Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
 Japanese cars don't start

-25 - Too cold to think
 You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 - You plan a two week hot bath
 Swedish cars don't start

-40 - Californians disappear
 Minnesotans button top button
 Canadians put on sweaters
 Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50 - Congressional hot air freezes
 Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80 - Hell freezes over
 Polar bears move South
 Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game

-90 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

Instructions for moving to the South

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as 'Bubba'. You have a 75% chance of being right.

Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

Do not buy food at the movie store.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

Florida is not considered a Southern State. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

If you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

Only in America

Nothing is funnier than the truth...

1. Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put all our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'poli' in latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hair dryer. 'Do not use while sleeping'. [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.]

2. On a bag of Fritos: 'You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details Inside'. [Evidently this is a shoplifter special.]

3. On a bar of Dial soap: 'Directions: Use like regular soap'. [And that would be how...?]

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: 'Serving suggestions: Defrost'. [But it's just a suggestion.]

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box): 'Do not turn upside down'. [Oops, too late.]

6. On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating'. [As sure as night follows the day.]

7. On the packaging for a Rowenta iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body'. [But wouldn't this save even more time?]

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'. [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds off those fork lifts.]

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: 'Warning: May cause drowsiness'. [One would hope so.]

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only'. [As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japenese food processor: 'Not to be used for other use'. [I gotta admit, I'm curious.]

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts, 'Warning: Contains nuts'. [NEWS FLASH]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 'Instructions, open packet, eat nuts'. [Step 3: Fly United.]

14. On a child's Superman costume: 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.

Notice to Northerners moving South

The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight and advice to Northerners moving South.

1. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

3. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

4. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

5. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

6. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either.

7. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

8. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

9. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.

10. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house, and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

11. Be advised that in the South, 'He needed killin!', is a valid defense.

How Rednecks play horseshoes

Saturday, May 21, 2005

a heart felt prayer

I just stumbled across this and it sent shivers down my spine. It is a letter written by Max Lucado, just after the events of September the 11, 2001. If you have any feelings of resentment towards the American government, please put them aside as you read this, and let the words of a Man of Faith, touch your heart as it just touched mine.

"Do it again, Lord"

A prayer by Max Lucado

We're still hoping we'll wake up. We're still hoping we'll open a sleepy eye and think, "What a horrible dream."

But we won't, will we, Father? What we saw was not a dream. Planes did gouge towers. Flames did consume our fortress. People did perish. It was no dream and, dear Father, we are sad.

There is a ballet dancer who will no longer dance and a doctor who will no longer heal. A church has lost her priest, a classroom is minus a teacher. Cora ran a food pantry. Paige was a counselor and Dana, dearest Father, Dana was only three years old. (Who held her in those final moments?)

We are sad, Father. For, as the innocent are buried, our innocence is buried as well. We thought we were safe. Perhaps we should have known better. But we didn't.

And, so, we come to you. We don't ask you for help; we beg you for it. We don't request it; we implore it. We know what you can do. We've read the accounts. We've pondered the stories and, now, we plead, "Do it again, Lord. Do it again."

Remember Joseph? You rescued him from the pit. You can do the same for us. Do it again, Lord.

Remember the Hebrews in Egypt? You protected their children from the angel of death. We have children, too, Lord. Do it again.

And Sarah? Remember her prayers? You heard them. Joshua? Remember his fears? You inspired him. The women at the tomb? You resurrected their hope. The doubts of Thomas? You took them away. Do it again, Lord. Do it again.

You changed Daniel from a captive into a king's counselor. You took Peter the fisherman and made him Peter an apostle. Because of you, David went from leading sheep to leading armies. Do it again, Lord, for we need counselors today, Lord. We need apostles. We need leaders. Do it again, dear Lord.

Most of all, do again what you did at Calvary. What we saw here last Tuesday, you saw there that Friday. Innocence slaughtered. Goodness murdered. Mothers weeping. Evil dancing. Just as the smoke eclipsed our morning, so the darkness fell on your Son. Just as our towers were shattered, the very Tower of Eternity was pierced.

And, by dusk, Heaven's sweetest song was silent, buried behind a rock.

But you did not waver, O Lord. You did not waver. After three days in a dark hole, you rolled the rock and rumbled the earth and turned the darkest Friday into the brightest Sunday. Do it again, Lord. Grant us a September Easter.

We thank you, dear Father, for these hours of unity. Christians are praying with Jews. Republicans are standing with Democrats. Skin colors have been covered by the ash of burning buildings. We thank you for these hours of unity.

And, we thank you for these hours of prayer. The Enemy sought to bring us to our knees and succeeded. He had no idea, however, that we would kneel before you. And he has no idea what you can do.

Let your mercy be upon our President, our Vice President and their families. Grant to those who lead us wisdom beyond their years and experience. Have mercy upon the souls who have departed and the wounded who remain. Give us grace that we might forgive and faith that we might believe.

And, look kindly upon your church. For two thousand years, you've used her to heal a hurting world.

Do it again, Lord. Do it again.

Through Christ, Amen.

Not much happened today. I slept most of the day, woke up, watched a bit of Highlander, read some of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe(can't wait for the movie on Dec. 9, 2 days after my B-day), then Joel came over to hang with Cam and I, and he brought Blizzards. Joel you rock. But then I had to leave for work. Let me tell you there, are few things in this world I detest more than riding a crouded bus full of teens, and twenty somethings in various states of drunkeness. Not to mention it is quite muggy tonight. Oh well, time to start cleaning, here's hoping I don't die from heat exhaustin(?), and that I never have to bus to work on a friday night again.


and here is something for all those people out there that believe their families are meesed up.

Many years ago

Many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild.

For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Roller coaster

Today, I was on kind of an emotional roller coaster of sorts. After having an awsome time at Matt&Jac's wedding shower(house group people rock) last night I came home, went to bed, had kind of a restless night, and woke up at 8:30AM!!!!!!!!!!!!! For anyone that knows me, I am NOT a mornig person. So I waited about a half an hour and then called Nathan, cause we were going to see Revenge of the Sith. So after a couple of phone calls, and a walk to 7-11, where I actually resisted the urge to buy a slurpy(2.5 hour movie plus slurpies, don't mix, this I learned from finishing a large pepsi in the first half hour of Fellowship of the Ring, and not leaving me seat till the end of the movie.), I got on the bus, met up with Nathan, and we bused to Silver City Polo Park, with a quick detour to House of Knives, we got our tickets for the 1PM showing, then went to Wendy's, had some sustanance, the back to S.C.P.P, where we met up with my best friend Bryan.
So we got into the theatre(no lines yeah) waited an hour, in which I relented and bought a very over priced, yet very tasty slurpy, and watched a kickass movie. I mean, any movie where R2-D2 has two fights scenes in gonna be awesome. We had a bit of excitment, when half way back Bryan realises the he has left his Star wars IV, V, VI DVD's in the theatre. So he goes back, but somebody had already taken them so he has to buy new ones, oh well, he wasn't to upset which is good.
After that I hung out with Nathan a bit on our very comfy couch, where he was attacked by the ever vichious Muffin(she's a shi tzu-bichon frise cross, who's only 8'' tall, and 10'' long, but has the energy of a Jack rabbit on speed, being chased by blood hounds) till he had to go to he grandmother's, so he left.
When Bryan got back, I took him to burger factory to cheer him up, then we walked to the flower shop because I had to pick up a flower for a memorial at Hesed. One of the residents passed away on May 1, so we had a service to share feeling and memories. It was rough, but also good in a way.
So after that Cam and I went to the office and hung out for awhile before I had to come to work.
So while I'm at work, something happens that totally brightens up my mood. My old dance teacher Eddie, calls my cell phone and ask's if he can look at my swords. It turns out that he knows Evan, my roommate, and is at my house for dinner. Now this in it's self was pretty cool, but then he calls back later, saying how two of the swords that I have are the exact swords that he is trained in, and he wants to get together and train me in how to use them.

Any way that was my day and now time for some humour.

In the beginning

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.

And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let him have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."

And so God created man in his own image; male and female created He them. And God looked upon man and woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And Satan said, "I know how I can get back into this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to man, "You want fries with that?"

And man said, "Supersize them." And man gained five pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained five pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth Ben & Jerry's. And woman gained ten pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained ten pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You are running up the score, Satan."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw it and said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Something to laugh about

I love humour, and laughter, so after stumbleing across the web site of my favorite comedian, Mark Lowry, I have decided to post a joke with every blog. Now keep in mind these are not mine they are from his site, I do not claim ownership of them, nor will I profit from them, but since most of them aren't his any way, who cares.

P.S. I may put more than one, and some are quite long, but I won't be using red anymore, so Nathan, you can read my blog much easier.


The Bible in 30 seconds

God made.
Adam bit.
Noah arked.
Abraham split.
Joseph ruled.
Jacob fooled.
Bush talked.
Moses balked.
Pharaoh plagued.
People walked.
Sea divided.
Tablets guided.
Promise landed.
Saul freaked.
David peeked.
Prophets warned.
Jesus born.
God walked.
Love talked.
Anger crucified.
Hope died.
Love rose.
Spirit flamed.
Word spread.
God remained!

- Author unknown

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Back it Action


I'm just sitting here at work, just about to start a couple hours of cleaning, and decided to start up the blog again.
I haven't really felt very inspired to write anything recently, but hey who knows? I mean I am at work for 10 hours a night(boy do I need a vacation), so I may find some inspiration later on. unfortunatly, not to much has changed in my life since I took my break from the Internet, but I am starting to learn to trust God that he has a plan for me, and it will unfold in His time, not mine.

Anyway, getting to work, starting my new mantra.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go.