Friday, September 15, 2006

Wow, it's been a long time. I don't even know if anyone still checks this things, since I didn't bother for a month. That's mostly because I spent as much of the summer offline as I could. But it's also because I've been on a very emotional and spiritual roller coaster these last few months(well actually years). I can't really express what I'm going thru in words, I don't know if it's because I haven't opened up about really anything in my life for years, or if it's just fear. For as long as I can remember, when ever people asked me how I'm doing, I say good, fine, not to bad, when inside I'm screaming HORRIBLE!!. I mean except for a couple of glimmers, I have felt spiritually dead all my life. I know that I don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. I just live off the crumbs of the people around me, and I can't take it anymore.

So this is me asking for help in the only way I can at the moment. For those of you who know me, prayer, email, coffee, this is as far as I feel I can take this on my own, but I'm not good at asking for help, so please, pray about this, and ask God what to do.
-Jason

3 Comments:

Blogger Matt said...

Hey Uttley. I'm subscribed to your feed, so it let's me know when you post. Oh, and spending time offline is a great idea.

Emailed ya.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Cam said...

Praying!

10:05 AM  
Blogger Marnie said...

Guess who wishes she still saw you every other morning for chats and med updates...

Anyway, good stuff Jason. It's really good to talk real where you're at. Jesus always responds.

You've been in my thoughts and I miss you and everyone at home. Keep in touch and let me know how you are.

What's up and all that...

K?

Love ya,

Marn

8:56 PM  

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